Lifestyle | Adventures Down South!

So this week I finally got to get away from it all and go on a little holiday down south to Guildford! (That's in Surrey for those of you that don't know, (don't worry, i didn't either at first)).

My sister was at university down there, so we decided that before she came back home, i'd pop down for a few days to do some exploring!

First, lets talk about the commute... People in London Victoria bus station are mean!

I don't know if it's because I'm used to friendly Northerners who say hello to everyone they meet, irrelevant of whether they know them or not, but I was definitely not feeling that vibe there! Not to mention the lady in her mobility scooter who decided to stop, complain about something, then proceeded to reverse into the reams of people behind her trying to get to their connecting coaches... According to my sister, I managed to witness every type of person you could meet in London in the space of 10 minutes.

But once i'd met my sister at the other end, everything seemed much brighter!

Every one seems to walk everywhere in Guildford, which for those of you that know me, understand that this is foreign to me! So what they do, so that you can cut through the train station instead of having to lug yourself all the way around town, is they give you this thing called a bridge pass. What is basically is, is a little slip of cardboardy-plastic that means you can walk through the station (or over the bridge), and get out the other side, without buying a ticket! Nifty eh?

So the first night was pretty relaxed. Hannah and I went out for dinner at TGI Friday's and had a catch up on each other's lives, then we came back to her room and watched some movies. Now as she was a student, (I say was because technically when I went down she was, but now she's home she's actually finished her degree), I got to stay in student halls and see a little bit what life would be like if i'd have gone to university. To summarise, the take-aways get dropped off at the other end of campus, the kitchen is literally so far away, and I can't seem to understand why anyone would want to transport their food 5 miles between cooking and eating (clearly i'm exaggerating), and if you have a ground floor room, it is absolutely essential that you make sure the curtains are drawn when you are coming out of the shower!

On day 2, Hannah decided to take me around the shops in Guildford, which are pretty similar to the ones in Leeds, but it was in Guildford where I was on holiday, so it was better. I bought a couple of make-up bits i'd been dying to try, and we treated ourselves to some new clothes from Urban Outfitters! I classed mine as a necessity as that morning I realised the only 'outerwear' type thing i'd brought down with me, excluding my coat, was a Harry Potter Gryffindor hoody which i'd travelled down in! Therefore, I definitely had to buy a new cardigan!

Later that day, once we'd got back to her room, caught up on Coronation Street, and rebooted ourselves, we went out for dinner with one of Hannah's uni friends, and my best friend Emily, who also went to university in Surrey! The Nando's down there had just had a re-vamp, and the open day was that day, so we went there to have yet another catch up, and some food! 

Next up, it was time for pudding. We were all really full after the Nando's, but before I went down, Hannah had told me about a place called Creams, which was literally a dessert restaurant. Everything on the menu was some form of pudding. Literally  everything! 

One portion of one of their puddings was the equivalent to a main course, but as I was on holiday, and at times I can turn my stomach into a bottomless pit, I just about managed to force down a slice (slab) of cheesecake and a scoop of ice cream. (The waffle was my sisters, but I could have definitely eaten that too).

Day 3! My absolute favourite day of the whole time I spent there! Hannah and I went to the Harry Potter Studio tour!

It was truly one of the best days ever! A little bit of me thought that it may ruin the magic, knowing everything behind the scenes, but it didn't, if anything it made it more magical!

I won't bombard you with pictures, because I don't want to spoil it if any of you are going, but it's brilliant! 

Conveniently, at the end of the tour, you're led right into the gift shop, so it'd be rude not to spend any money, right?

After getting home from what can only be described as the day where it was officially confirmed that I am not a muggle, it was quite late, so we ordered a chinese. For those of you keeping count, that's 3 meals out and a take away in as many days... Do not tell my bootcamp instructor!

The next day was all about the travel back up north. So armed with snacks, my headphones, and a phone charger, we got on a coach at 10.50 to start our 7 hour journey back home! After about 30minutes into the journey, I fell asleep anyway...

So if any of you want a more detailed blog about the tour, do let me know, I just didn't want to let out too many spoilers!

Lifestyle | Let's talk about First Dates

 First dates ay,, we've all been there!

After being single for a while, I thought maybe I should put myself out there for a bit...see what happens...

Now I met my ex through my brother, because they were friends and they worked together (yeah it was a bit awkward), so i've never really been in the dating world. Most of the time, I think it's safe to assume that that was a good thing.

But where do you start? I'm always busy at work, and my social life isn't exactly buzzing, so obviously the right thing to do was to go for a dating website, more specifically, Tinder. Yeah I know, don't judge me!

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So Tinder. You swipe left or right whether you like someone or not, and no-one knows which way you've swiped on them unless you've both swiped right, meaning you like the look of each other, and this then allows you to talk to each other. Sounds simple, yes?

Well it is. Maybe too simple. 

You get chatting with someone, everything seems to go well then, boom! Dick pic, in your face... Or the guys whose first message is 'Sex or pics'. A personal favourite, 'Do you like dragons?' ... 'Because i'm gonna be dragon my ball across your face later'...

So those guys are pretty much a right off straight away. 

Then there's the ones that you get talking to, who seem alright, who suddenly decide that they want you to be the new mother to their two children, and want you to get married and be a stay at home mum, baking apple pies and changing shitty diapers. Yeah, bye!

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Then we move over to the select few you dare to give your number to. The one's who seem normal, who you have a normal chatty conversation with, who will randomly send you a dick pic when you're innocently sat in the lounge eating your spaghetti bolognese, watching tv with your mum. 'So do you like animals?' 'Yeah I really like cats....' Hmm he must have sent me a picture of his pets... Nope! It's a dick pic!

Or, there's the guys who you have nice chatty conversations with who just stop replying, or you leave the staff room to do a root colour, forgetting that you haven't replied to a message until weeks later when you see that there message is still chilling there, without a reply, but by this time it'd just be awkward if you responded... yes it does actually happen.. Sorry Thomas!

But then there's a handful and by handful I mean a maximum of like, 2-3, who you actually think you might be interested in, and with the back up of a friend sat a few tables away, you agree to meet for lunch/ a drink.

Let me introduce you to a few of my first dates; NB Not all of these have come from Tinder, that was just the start point for this blog!

Mr 'I'm Better Than You Because I Have A Degree'

So it seemed to be going well, but then he asked me about my job, so I obviously replied saying that I was a hair and make up artist...

'So you don't have a degree?'

No

'Did you not get into uni?'

I never applied...

'I think you should do a degree, there's plenty of at home courses you can do, but there not as good as going to a real university, but at least it's something and you're not just stuck being a hairdresser'.

He walked home. Alone.

Mr 'So You're Coming Back to Mine right?'

I never actually went on this date. Because in the whole run up to it, this guy was suggesting that we 'skip the dessert and have pudding back at his'. 

How about no.

Mr ' I've seen your face on Tinder so i'm going to assume that I can sit down next to you'

So I was waiting to have a meeting with someone about joining the Fellowship of British Hairdressing. And some guy, who I didn't even recognise, decided to announce to the whole of Starbucks that he'd recognised me from Tinder, and decided to have a seat... 

The most awkward part? When the guy I was meeting turned up from the Fellowship, he stayed there... Sat chilling there like a third wheel on something that could have potentially been a turning point in my career... Bit invasive to be honest!

Mr 'I'm so casual and laid back, and i'm going to talk all night about my kid and my ex girlfriend who's a psycho bitch'

The dinner was fine. The atmosphere was okay. The fact that he talked about his son didn't even bother me, who doesn't like it when someone is open and honest? But going on, and on, and on, and on, about his ex girlfriend (who he was SO over by the way...), just wasn't cutting it. So I mentioned that maybe we should change the subject, to which he agreed. Which lasted for about 10 minutes...

Don't get me wrong, some first dates go well (obviously, or everyone would be single). In my experience, ONE of my first dates have gone well, but then I caught a bug the day before the second date, and well... that's a story for another time.

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Lifestyle | Dealing with the Thoughts of Small Minded People

Two essential songs that you need to be listening to while reading this post...

1) Shake it Off - Taylor Swift

2) Who's Laughing Now - Jessie J

Not only do these two ladies epitomise the definition of 'Girl Power', but they are also the perfect songs to syke you up to deal with other people's negative thoughts.

Now, today's post was going to be a summer look-book, but firstly, the weather hasn't exactly allowed me to wear the outfits i'd chosen, and secondly, I feel like I need to make this point before I go any further with my blogging/vlogging. 

Those of you that know me are aware of the reason why I left the salon I worked at to be a support worker. To summarise for those of you that don't, I came home feeling miserable every day because the environment I worked in was so negative and awful that it drained the life out of you. Me and my collegues, (some of which still work there), were treated like rubbish for a less than minimum wage. I had to get out.

So you could say I was used to dealing with negativity. But entering the world of blogging was a whole new story.

You get bombarded with negative comments from people that don't even know you, and those that do 'know' you (i use that term loosely), think it's okay to judge you, and degrade you in front of others.

Let's give you a few examples.

On one of my blog posts where I posted a picture of my body, I received a whole host of negative comments. I'm too skinny, i'm promoting anorexia (what even...), and that I was ugly... even though they haven't seen my face...

Another example. My ex manager thought that it was okay to tell one of my best friends that still works in the salon, that I was unqualified, I couldn't do what I was claiming to do on my Facebook page etc, and that I wont get anywhere in my career now i've left that salon. That tiny salon that no one knows the name of...

Now I wont lie. It upset me. Because it's a natural reaction to someone being nasty to get upset. But what I have learnt, is that the opinions of those people don't matter.

I've been reading Carrie Hope Fletcher's book, an coincientally, i'm on the section about bullying. And what she says is exactly right. It's not you that's the problem, it's them! The people that know you are clearly jealous of what you're acheiving, or they wouldn't be wasting their time trying to convince other's that their small minded opinion is right. And the people that don't know you obviously have nothing better to do than sit behind the protection of their computer and send nasty comments, so just leave them to it!

I don't write this blog or make my videos expecting everyone to like them. I don't need hundereds and hundereds of views and subscribers to make me happy. I write it because it makes me happy. An if my writing can help or inspire just one person, then i'll be pretty chuffed with what i've done.

I've got so many things in the making to look forward to, and so much stuff to share with you all, I simply don't have time for people's negativity, and neither should any one else! The block button is there for a reason and it'll definitely come in handy!

The people that try and drag you down are the people that are already below you. Just bear that in mind.

Those that mind, don't matter. And those that matter, don't mind ~ Dr Zeuss

Skinny Shaming | Can You Not?

So this is a bit off topic for me, but it's something that's been annnoying me. Like, really annoying me.

Let's talk about 'skinny shaming'.

I'm a size 6-8, my boobs are a D-cup, and I have to buy jeans one size bigger to fit my bum in, thus giving me an hour-glass figure. The figure all women dream of right? The type of woman guys MUST be with? So why are people constantly telling me that i'm too skinny, that i need more meat on my bones, that I'm so skinny i'm going to make myself poorly?

Can you just not?

This picture of me was posted on my instagram, and the world went mad. I've never had to delete so many nasty comments in my life. And i don't even have that many followers...

'You're too skinny' 'You look ill' 'You'll probably die if you don't eat something'

All this was, was a progress picture from the work i'd been doing at the gym...

I've never exceeded a size 10, that's just the way my motabolism works. I can burn off food quickly. Society makes out that I starve myself, and that any girl who is skinny clearly has an eating disorder.

This weekend alone, i've had fish and chips, a Domino's meal deal, and enough chinese food for around 3 people... but yeah, clearly i'm starving myself...

At least once a week when I go to the gym, someone points out (usually one of those outrageously muscley men, who spends more time taking mirror selfies than lifting weights) that a 'tiny little woman like me shouldn't be lifting, you should go eat some more'. Go put a few more Kilograms on your bar and shut your dam mouth!

Those types of people don't know why I go to the gym, because they don't know me. I go to tone up, and to improve my cardio, because that helps my Fibromyalgia. Not because I think i'm fat and I need to lose weight...

There was an article in the papers the other day, which was 'shaming' skinny women for 'getting too fat'. What this included, was a picture of Lea Michele bent over, thus creating 'fat rolls'. Newsflash, this is what happens to skin when it's moved. Irrelevent of your size, when you bend over, your skin moves. It has less of a surface area to cover and therefore 'folds'. But obviously that means that Lea is too fat and needs to lose weight, right?

Let's flip this around, shall we? 

There's a new thing going on isn't there. This whole 'plus sized models' thing. Everyone's right happy for these girls because they've finally got this big break, and they're standing up for their rights, and showing women everywhere that they can do what they want no matter what, and you don't have to be skinny to be a model!

That's all well and good but is anyone pointing out that these women have sky high BMIs, probably a whole host of medical issues because of their weight, nevermind the fact that they're actually classed as clinically obese by medical professionals, and yet these women are seen to be more of a role model for young women.

Telling people they are not good people because their body is 'too small' is not okay. These oversized women are told they they're brave, and yet, if someone is seen as too skinny, they're victimised by the media, and told that what they're doing is wrong, and they need to reevaluate their lives.

How about no.

Skinny shaming is not okay. I'm proud of my body, and I worked hard for it. And I refuse to be told otherwise by the media and anonymous people from the internet.