After being single for a while, I thought maybe I should put myself out there for a bit...see what happens...
Now I met my ex through my brother, because they were friends and they worked together (yeah it was a bit awkward), so i've never really been in the dating world. Most of the time, I think it's safe to assume that that was a good thing.
But where do you start? I'm always busy at work, and my social life isn't exactly buzzing, so obviously the right thing to do was to go for a dating website, more specifically, Tinder. Yeah I know, don't judge me!
So Tinder. You swipe left or right whether you like someone or not, and no-one knows which way you've swiped on them unless you've both swiped right, meaning you like the look of each other, and this then allows you to talk to each other. Sounds simple, yes?
Well it is. Maybe too simple.
You get chatting with someone, everything seems to go well then, boom! Dick pic, in your face... Or the guys whose first message is 'Sex or pics'. A personal favourite, 'Do you like dragons?' ... 'Because i'm gonna be dragon my ball across your face later'...
So those guys are pretty much a right off straight away.
Then there's the ones that you get talking to, who seem alright, who suddenly decide that they want you to be the new mother to their two children, and want you to get married and be a stay at home mum, baking apple pies and changing shitty diapers. Yeah, bye!
Then we move over to the select few you dare to give your number to. The one's who seem normal, who you have a normal chatty conversation with, who will randomly send you a dick pic when you're innocently sat in the lounge eating your spaghetti bolognese, watching tv with your mum. 'So do you like animals?' 'Yeah I really like cats....' Hmm he must have sent me a picture of his pets... Nope! It's a dick pic!
Or, there's the guys who you have nice chatty conversations with who just stop replying, or you leave the staff room to do a root colour, forgetting that you haven't replied to a message until weeks later when you see that there message is still chilling there, without a reply, but by this time it'd just be awkward if you responded... yes it does actually happen.. Sorry Thomas!
But then there's a handful and by handful I mean a maximum of like, 2-3, who you actually think you might be interested in, and with the back up of a friend sat a few tables away, you agree to meet for lunch/ a drink.
Let me introduce you to a few of my first dates; NB Not all of these have come from Tinder, that was just the start point for this blog!
Mr 'I'm Better Than You Because I Have A Degree'
So it seemed to be going well, but then he asked me about my job, so I obviously replied saying that I was a hair and make up artist...
'So you don't have a degree?'
'Did you not get into uni?'
I never applied...
'I think you should do a degree, there's plenty of at home courses you can do, but there not as good as going to a real university, but at least it's something and you're not just stuck being a hairdresser'.
He walked home. Alone.
Mr 'So You're Coming Back to Mine right?'
I never actually went on this date. Because in the whole run up to it, this guy was suggesting that we 'skip the dessert and have pudding back at his'.
How about no.
Mr ' I've seen your face on Tinder so i'm going to assume that I can sit down next to you'
So I was waiting to have a meeting with someone about joining the Fellowship of British Hairdressing. And some guy, who I didn't even recognise, decided to announce to the whole of Starbucks that he'd recognised me from Tinder, and decided to have a seat...
The most awkward part? When the guy I was meeting turned up from the Fellowship, he stayed there... Sat chilling there like a third wheel on something that could have potentially been a turning point in my career... Bit invasive to be honest!
Mr 'I'm so casual and laid back, and i'm going to talk all night about my kid and my ex girlfriend who's a psycho bitch'
The dinner was fine. The atmosphere was okay. The fact that he talked about his son didn't even bother me, who doesn't like it when someone is open and honest? But going on, and on, and on, and on, about his ex girlfriend (who he was SO over by the way...), just wasn't cutting it. So I mentioned that maybe we should change the subject, to which he agreed. Which lasted for about 10 minutes...
Don't get me wrong, some first dates go well (obviously, or everyone would be single). In my experience, ONE of my first dates have gone well, but then I caught a bug the day before the second date, and well... that's a story for another time.