So as part of my 'Independent Ladies' series, i've decided to share with you everything i've learnt during my time of singledom. (Not sure if that's a word but let's go with it.
1) You do things for yourself, not for another person.
I used to have the mindset that I needed to look good for said 'significant other', and I don't. I get my nails done because I love having nice nails. I shave my legs so I can look good walking down the street in a split leg maxi skirt. I wear bright lipstick and curl my hair, because daymn, I look good in bright lipstick an curly hair!
2) You become less bothered if you catch a guy checking you out.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean the creepy guys who cat call you in the street, which is verging on sexual harrassment. But if i'm out with my friends, or just doing a bit of shopping, if I notice someone looking at me, knowing that I look good, I don't mind it. I no longer feel guilty and think 'oh my boyfriend wouldn't like that'. I work hard to look good. It's nice to have other people appreciate that sometimes.
3) You go to the gym to feel good about yourself, not because you don't want your other half judging your wobbly bits.
I joined the gym back in September, mid-singledom. As I was single I didn't feel like I was going to impress another person. I went for me. I wanted a smokin' hot body for my girls holiday the next summer, I wasn't doing it for the sake of a boyfriend. Everyone has parts of their body they're not happy with, but you should never change them for the sake of another person. I've always had the mindset that if someone didn't like me for who I am, to put it simply, they can do one!
4) Single dates are a thing!
The thought of going to a cafe or a coffee shop and sitting there eating or drinking alone would terrify me. But then what do you do when you mega-crave a cheese an ham toastie with a side of Caramellatte from Costa? Do you order it to go and sit and have it in your car? No! That's not fun! You take a book or a magazine, and you own that table by the window, because that is your table by the window and by god you're going to enjoy that cheese and ham toastie!
First step coffee shop, next step, Nandos!
5) You can do what you want, when you want.
Within reason of course. I don't mean you can go off terrorising people and robbing a bank just because you fancy it. If you want to go on a girls weekend you can do so without thinking your other half might feel left out. Another more personal example, If you want to write a blog about life and beauty, and basically any other things that come into your head, you can, without your boyfriend saying it's a stupid idea and no one would read it. (Tell that to my over 1000 readers, we so showed him guys!).
6) Seize the moment.
Last minute barbeque at Alice's house? Yep, i'm going. Mid-week trip to Ibiza? Sure, let me grab my suitcase. Tattoo of a cat on your arm? Tattoo away! Do you get the idea?
7) Normal people, don't respond to texts all day everyday.
You see, most people have lives. I was use to every message being answered, within the hour at least. But whilst being single, I've come to realise that not everyone does that, because they have jobs, and friends, and other things which mean they're not attached to their phones all day.
8) Family is there forever.
As cheesy as it sounds, your family (and real friends that are basically family), are the only ones that will actually be there for you. These are the people you need around you.
9) Netflix and Duvets were made for you... and cats.
Sometimes when you've had a bad day, work's been stressful, you just feel like utter crap for no reason, your duvet will always be there to welcome you home with open arms. So grab the cat, stick on the tv, and binge watch your favourite programme until you decide you want to shower. No one's going to judge you.
10) DO NOT SETTLE!
Irrelevant of how long you've been single for, days, months, years, it is absolutely the most important and vital thing, that you do not settle. The right person is out there, and you will fin each other. Don't settle for someone who isn't giving you what you want, just because you want to be with someone. You're better than that.
I've been on my fair share of first dates, and this is the most important thing. If it doesn't feel right, don't force it. The situation wont change. When you find the right person, you just know. I am the most shy and awkward person in the world when I first meet anyone, employers, friends, potential boyfriends, and when I meet someone who i'm suppose to be with, all of that will vanish. Conversation will flow, I won't overthink every tiny detail, and I wont be afraid of smiling in front of them because of my wonky teeth. It'll just feel right.